Auction

 

They ran them through in groups of five or six, nervous little creatures that skittered into the holding pen, and then bolted out as soon as the auctioneer hollered, “Sold!” and the gate was opened.

She watched, not interested, until…

A group skittered in, but one stayed hunched over instead of pacing back and forth. Looking closely, she saw them, the tiny feet underneath the furry body. This one had babies, and they were expecting her to keep up with the rest. The mother’s eyes rolled with fear and before she knew it, her hand was in the air.

“Sold!”

Judgement

 

One of the many things he loved about living in the woods was the absence of other humans.

Thinking back on his working life, it amazed him that he’d survived without going completely crazy.

Humans are noisy, dramatic, petty, nosy creatures. It was exhausting figuring out what his actions or reactions should be from day to day, because it depended on nothing except the whimsy and emotions of the humans around him.

At least here in the forest, animals and plants were straightforward and predictable. They had no agenda and assessed no judgements.

Then, he looked down and saw it.

Apology

 

Staring into the lit candle, she whispered, “I’m so sorry, Gomez.”

She heard him, right next to her, softly into her ear. “It’s OK, my angel.”

“No, it’s not” she was almost in tears. “I timed this trip so I could be on a beautiful beach in Costa Rica on your birthday. So *we* could be on a beautiful beach in Costa Rica on your birthday. I booked it over a year ago, and then that stupid winter storm shut down the airport and I couldn’t go.”

“It’s really OK, Caramia. I’m there now. You’re right. It’s beautiful.”

“You asshole.”

Cattle

 

“What the Sam Hell?” he said out loud, staring at his empty field.

He should have been looking at his herd of cattle, milling around the gate, waiting for their breakfast.

But they weren’t there.

He quickly walked the fenceline to see if the fence was down. It was not.

Getting more perplexed by the minute, he looked for signs that someone had come in with a trailer and stolen them overnight, but the ground just inside and outside of the gate was undisturbed except for the tracks his truck had just made.

Then he looked up and whispered, “Aliens.”

Kevin

 

 She’d promised to take him home with her, the giant slug on the rental patio.

His name was Kevin, and she saw him every night when she called her husband at home in Texas.

But on the night before they left, Kevin was not on the patio. She looked under leaves and behind vines, but he was not there.

They left California the next morning, and she thought about Kevin all the way home.

Two years later, on her farm in Texas, something on the ground caught her eye.

Looking down, she squawked, “Kevin???”

Kevin was exhausted, and not amused.

Everything Hurts

 

The body hit the ground with a sickening *splat*.

Amazingly, it awkwardly pulled itself back into a standing position.

“Again!” came a gleeful call, and the body blindly climbed the tree and walked off the end of the branch…again.

After a while, it got boring, and besides, it was getting close to morning.

Several hours later, she woke up, confused and pissed off. Every inch of her felt like she’d been repeatedly tossed from a tall tree.

“What. The hell. Did you do to me last night?”

“Nothing” the demon under the bed said, sounding offended. But it was grinning.

Trash Day

 

Puzzled, he squinted to see if he could make sense of it.

When he’d rounded the corner, there it was- a large black hulk that looked like the Grim Reaper, just chillin’ on the side of the road.

But then, he’d noticed the two full trash cans next to it, and as he drove slowly past, it became clear that it was several stacked trash bags with a pile of dark detritus balanced on top.

Chuckling, he accelerated back to the speed limit, completely forgetting the upcoming stoplight.

As the UPS truck t-boned his small Kia, the black figure disappeared.