Lighten Up, Francis

 Francis is the wolf spider who has been sharing my bathroom with me for months, now. 

I always thought we had a decent relationship- I used the bathroom when I needed to, and he had full control the rest of the time. Clearly, he got the lion's share of bathroom time. If Francis were in my way, I'd gently nudge him with the flyswatter, and he'd wander off a few inches so I could access my toothbrush or whatever.

He spent his time eating all the smaller bugs, including other spiders, that were attracted to my 24/7/365 bathroom light on, and in my feeble human brain, we both had a pretty sweet deal.

Well.

Today, Francis decided to fight me for 100% ownership of the bathroom. 

He was on the floor, right where I needed to be to wash my face and put on my makeup, so I gently nudged him towards the space between the bathroom shelf and wall. 

He would have none of it. 

Francis skittered up the wall a few feet, then dropped to the floor even closer to me, arms raised in defiance. 

I nudged him again.

This time, he jumped onto the flyswatter and postured again, looking me dead in the eyes and waving his arms like the fierce predator he is.

I carefully carried him outside and tapped him off of the flyswatter, then went back into the house.

IF he makes it back into the bathroom, I am, of course, open to negotiation.

I'm not a monster, after all.

Francis, on a happier day.